I would like to focus on the reality of this day when one’s father has passed the confines of this earthly plane of existence or is no longer in the lives of their children. Many sons and daughters have memories and experiences which make them smile or cry as they think about their dad.
In one of my first blog posts back in 2010—The Sacrifice of One, I shared the video of a young girl who lost her father in war. He like many thousands of young men went off to war leaving family behind.
He had hopes and dreams of returning home to experience the joys of being a husband and father. Unfortunately, those dreams ended in a foreign land with a place name which conjures up an agony of spirit for those he left behind.
His daughter grew up without her father; now she visits his grave regularly. After she became a mother, she brought her own daughter to her daddy’s grave to introduce her child to her grandfather.
There is the other reality where a child is estranged from their father for myriad reasons. He may be alive, but he will not receive a Father’s Day greeting.
Like a path in the woods with two folks, the father and child travel separate paths never to converge. Perhaps, on the father’s deathbed there may be reconciliation, but unlike movies and plays, the poignant reality is that the father just fades from this life without his child by his side.
Personally, my sister, Marsha, and I never knew our father. What we know of him is what our mother told us, old photographs, and when he died, what his obituary said about him—war hero, government worker, etc.
We never got to send a father’s day card. We never got to chat with the man.
On this Father’s Day we who are fatherless may or may not have memories and experiences to remember him by. For fatherless children on this planet traversing the cosmos life is difficult.
And to those of you have a father; spend time with him if all possible on this day. I know for many it will be a day of joy. For many sons and daughters carrying the hurt of spending time with a man who contributed to their conception, but who was not a father to them, it will be just another day that reminds them of the pain he caused to their mother or themselves.
Perhaps, the song DANCE WITH MY FATHER is an appropriate way to end this post for those of us on this day that lost a father.
If I could get another chance
Another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never ever end
How I’d love love love
To dance with my father again
G. D. Williams © 2015
Jessica Sanchez – Dance With My Father (Lyrics)
DANCE WITH MY FATHER (Lyrics) – LUTHER VANDROSS
What Kind of Father Was Norman Rockwell
Our fathers do the best they can. Let’s celebrate Dad by making his favorite food — black bean soup and fresh cornbread? — or going for a hike together (check for ticks please!). It’s the simple moments spent together that really count and remain with us.